If someone were to ask you: “what is a friend?” how would you answer? “Someone you can talk to about your problems” or perhaps “someone who is there for you in crisis.” Well, if these are some of your answers then you are on the right track. A dictionary defines a friend as “one attached to another by affection or esteem.” So in essence, a true friend is someone who can help direct your thoughts toward good things. He can encourage and build you up in times of need and he can even share your grief. That is why you have heard some say: “while material things often lose their value over time, true friendship grows and flourishes with time.”
As a result, this raises the question: how can you form lasting friendships? Obviously, there are no set guidelines that guarantee a lasting friendship but the six steps we will discuss can give you starting point. So the six steps include the following:
1. BE A FRIEND. The only way to have a friend is to be one. A word of encouragement or a helping hand may be the seed from which a great friendship will grow.
2. MAKE TIME FORM A FRIENDSHIP. Most people desire the benefits of friendship. But, they are too busy to invest the necessary time. Remember, friendship, like a flowering plant, needs to be watered and nurtured for it to blossom―and that takes time.
3. PAY ATTENTION WHEN OTHERS TALK. Good, attentive listeners often find it easier to have friends. When you talk with others, show personal interest in their feelings. Encourage them to talk about themselves. Take the lead in displaying honor to them. Then they will want to be with you. On the other hand, if you monopolize every conversation, or constantly put yourself in the limelight, you will have a hard time finding someone who is ready to listen or who cares about your feelings and needs.
4. BE FORGIVING. A true friend is quick to overlook minor failings. Picture it this way: Some don't like eating raspberries because of their little seeds. But, those who enjoy this fruit don't notice the seeds. Therefore, true friends are loved for their good qualities while their minor faults are overlooked. Those who learn to be forgiving keep their friends.
5. RESPECT THE PRIVACY OF OTHERS. Everyone needs some privacy, including your friends. Hence, be reasonable about the frequency and length of visits with friends. Avoid possessiveness, which can lead to jealousy. Use good judgment when expressing personal tastes and opinions on matters. This contributes to a refreshing and welcome friendship.
6. BE GENEROUS. Friendships are cultivated through generosity. For example, share encouraging words with others. When you show genuine interest in the well-being of others, they are drawn to you. Think about what you can do for them instead of focusing on what they can do for you.
Friendship is a gift everyone is able to give and to receive. However, like with anything in life, if you want a lasting friendship you need to be prepared to give time and effort to find success.
